Take a deep breath.

I know life can continuously through you through loops. I know it can only seem to get worse and worse and worse. Trust me when I say it does get better. You will find yourself again. Maybe not now not next week but when its your time to shine, you will. You have to keep fighting and pushing through the bullshit until you find the light again. Just know, you’re not alone. Continuously struggling with everyday life is more common then one may think. Just stay positive and keep pushing on. It has to get worse before it can get better. You need to have bad days to know the good.

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Starting Fresh

New year means by choice you can make it a fresh start. Not that the new year will bring a new start. In reality the new year is another day, but by making it new is up to you. Take your goals and make them into realities. Quit your habits you’ve wanted gone. Start up that new hobby you’ve been dying to do. Create a new beginning for your life. It is in your hands. Live each day like it is your last. Keep on being you my loves. You ARE in control. Keep positive and make most of your life.

2019 COMING SOON.

Time to kiss 2018 goodbye and say hello to 2019. Open arms, open minded. This may be tough I know just breathe, deep breathes, new year new you! Yes it is possible to let 2018 stay in the past, just hop on that horse and ride on through.

Don’t be TOO Envious, Stop looking on social media and getting angry about how that girl back in high school now has a their “life going for them”. The way peoples’ lives end up aren’t always just luck. Most of the time it takes hard work and dedication to be able to achieve the happiness we desire. Encourage each other instead of envying one another. Focus on you, work to succeed what you want. Sitting there just being envious of others will not get one very far. Although using others for your own motivation can help. Seeing how someone achieves the life their living could help you to choose the path to go on. Do note, people on social media post pictures and things in the moment, life is never just full of happiness. You need to know what falling down feels like to know how to get back up.

Be Patient, Stop trying to rush through everything, being too impatient can have you miss whats really important in life. Take things slow and think them through. Think about what someone just said to you and think through your response, being inpatient can cause one to become impulsive and “act out of hand”. Maybe you have a report due at work or at school and someone else is in charge of proofreading it. They take their time and end up making you later then you wanted to be. You could go yell at them and make them try to rush, but will it actually be done enough? Being patient will ensure the report is gone through in depth, and if you are patient writing it, it will be done properly and contain more thought. Just breathe through the process and know the more you think it through, the better it will be. Don’t rush the moment, the paper, or anything for that matter, because then you will miss out on the important pieces of the present.

Let Go, Don’t stay trapped in the past, or even the future. Let go of grudges and hatred, let go and forgive. It’s a new year, yes that may just be another day, but it can be the first day towards a better you. Holding on to unnecessary anger and hatred towards others is not how you want to be feeling. To hold on to unnecessary baggage can take a toll on you in a negative way, making you depressed, anxious, even just easily agitated. Let go of those unneeded emotions, try meditation, yoga, or anything to just relax you and take your mind off all the useless feelings you may be experiencing. Know when you’re at fault and be able to forgive yourself, be able to talk to ones who you’ve may of hurt, and be sincere, talk to them, let them know how you feel and try to mend the situation.

Be Open Minded, Life is a game where it likes to throw us through loops, twists, and turns. Be ready for anything and everything life may have to throw your way. Don’t think of every bad situation as bad luck, but more as a learning opportunity, learn from your mistakes, and learn from the events in your life. Use them to blossom and grow as a human. Everybody is going to have struggles, but of course always some more than others. What matters is how you progress from those struggles, how you use them as actual motivators. Do understand that everyone is different, going through different things, different progressions of life, and understand that you are not above or below anyone just because you can or can’t handle what life throws your way. Do the best for you.

Do More for Yourself, Find something for you, something that makes you happy and do it, keep at it. Whether that be a hobby like, photography, singing, writing, drawing ETC. Or you have plans to start a family, start a new job you love, maybe even move. Whatever it is, do it, do it for yourself. Living in a world where everyone comes before you is exhausting. Always trying to be a people pleaser, usually one will come up short, only because it is absolutely impossible to please everyone. Even if you do are you pleasing yourself in the same way? Are you just as happy as you make everyone else be? Now don’t get me wrong, being a people pleaser isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you just want everyone around you to be happy, but just as much as them, you deserve it too. This year I want you to do five things or more for yourself. I want you to write them down as their done and write down how you feel afterwards. Keep a log to see what truly will make you happy, even in the smallest way, because you deserve it, you truly do.

Additional Notes,

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Happy holidays from me to you, I hope everyone had a great December and I wish for happiness and love throughout 2019! Be safe, have fun, and live on!

Beginning to Happiness

Everyone deserves to be happy, and usually when their unhappy they take it out on others. Which then makes everyone else unhappy. It is hard to live in a world where people sort of rely on others for sources of happiness, or they rely on things and object. For instance the big one, money. Theory has it the more money you have the happier you shall be. This is far from the truth. There are actual facts that it isn’t the materialistic things that make us happy, but the experiences we have and the way we take in everything. Becoming happy can be a challenge, but is achievable. The big question is how?

1. Routines

This may seem a little odd, but the simplest way to start this process is to get down a more consistent routine. Eating more regular, fulfilling meals, and getting enough sleep, take up exercise are all great ways to start small. They are also all scientifically backed up!

Eating more regular meals Rather then making yourself super hungry, can play a part in your mood. We all know how we can get when we haven’t eaten, every little thing starts to bug us and emotions can start to flare. Sound familiar? Eating more often and healthier can be more beneficial. Rather then eating big meals, try eating smaller meals and snacks. Drinking plenty of water throughout the day is also another key component. Don’t skip meals, you may of heard this plenty of times, especially with breakfast. Skipping breakfast can slow down your metabolism, lower your blood sugar, which affect your mood and behaviors, and can even increase your stress hormones. Eat more foods high in nutritional value, and include proteins. Laborers’ Health and Safety fund states:

“Refined carbohydrates – like the added sugar in junk food, fruit juices and many other foods – are the primary culprit behind this cycle of energy highs and lows. Avoiding or limiting those foods can help your blood sugar remain stable throughout the day.”

https://www.lhsfna.org/LHSFNA/assets/File/Food%20Mood97.jpg

Getting enough sleep, You have probably heard this one before too, but it is actually true. It may seem obvious because when people don’t get quality sleep, they are more prone to be grumpy. This can actually lead to more serious problems including depression, memory loss, increase in hormone stress, and even a slower metabolism. It’s crazy to think just a hour or two extra sleep can benefit you in many ways. A study back in January of 2011 from an article “The Role for REM Sleep in Recalibrating the Sensitivity of the Human Brain to Specific Emotions”, a study showed that people who took a nap during the day, compared to those who hadn’t, showed less sensitivity towards negative emotions at the end of the day. The typical adult needs 8+ hours of sleep. While studies show on average people are getting seven or less. Try going to sleep at a more decent hour.

Meditation, Just relax. You’re at home going to bed soon, don’t keep stressing about the day you just had. Don’t worry about how tomorrow will be. Live in the moment for yourself. Meditation is becoming more and more relevant in peoples’ everyday lives. Meditation is a mind and body practice to help with calmness and ones well being, It can be used for different things, including sleep, reducing stress [which can result in less anxiety], help you to become more self aware, help generate kindness to yourself and others. There are plenty of YouTube videos to help one meditate. Also yoga can be used instead or as well. You can even meditate anywhere!

Try some Exercise, Have you ever heard the phrase “runners high”? Well that actually is true, while exercising our brains releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins are also known as our bodies natural painkillers, because they produce euphoria which makes you feel good. People have reported feeling calm or even energized after a good workout. Positive behavior has even been linked to exercise. Why not try to sweat out the stresses?

2. Live in the world, not just on it

Instead of just going to work and or school then heading home and not really enjoying the day, take more time to do just that. Stop and watch the sunset or spend more quality time with the people you love. It can benefit you and those around you.

Spend Time Outside, You know your mom said for you to go play outside, or go get fresh air. Turns out she has always been right. Just spending fifteen minutes outside has been proven to boost peoples’ mood. There was a study with sixty people who spent fifty minutes outside in urban and nature areas. They were given a psychological assessments before and after the walk, just the fifty minute walk in nature resulted in decreased anxiety, better memory, and decrease in negative affect. Go to your local park, or find somewhere to hike. Go out in the sunshine and get some fresh air. Vitamin D can really affect ones mood, hence why SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is common. SAD is a type of depression which occurs during the fall and winter season. The reason for this is the lack of sunshine and vitamin D, which we get from the sun. Taking vitamin D can help with this and or light therapy.

Put your phone down, To have a sufficient relationship with someone it is most beneficial to spend time with them face to face, rather then just sending words and pictures. This is because people do rely on other interactions, and relationships for happiness. Having interactions on a screen does not create sufficient connections with others, due to less emotional connections. Go out with your friends or family, put your phone down, and you may be surprised how much fun and energizing it actually can be. We used to only be able to spend time outside, no electronics to get in the way. Now we replaced that with screens to talk and “hang out” through face-time. It is time we put the screens down and took in the world around us.

Have Meaningful Conversations, Build more sturdy relationships with people and really dig deep. Having meaningful conversations, where you and the other person are fully listening to one another, can help make you feel happier and even less stressed. A study was preformed in 2010 where seventy-nine undergraduates were given a microphone which recorded every twelve and a half seconds, for thirty seconds. The results concluded that the happiest participants spent twenty-five percent less time alone, while spending seventy percent more time talking with others. Have less small talk and more deeper conversations.

Together, the findings demonstrate that the happy life is social rather than solitary and conversationally deep rather than superficial.

3. Focus on YOU

Some think it is very selfish to do things for yourself, to be able to have a you day, have a girls or guys night/day out. Doing stuff for yourself is important just like doing things for others. You are not any less then someone else. You do deserve the same happiness as everyone else. No one is superior to another.

Start up a Hobby, Whether you used to write or you want to, you used to take photography, but now the camera is just catching dust. Take up a new or old hobby. Doing things that you enjoy actually make you happier all around. Now I know people can be busy and don’t have time to always be able to do something fun, or you’re too tired. I get it, but even spending a little time doing something that you enjoy, can help you relax. Rather then thinking about the things that are stressing you out, your full concentration is on something else. You can feel more fulfilled because your time is being used more effectively. Spend time outside, kayaking, hiking, swimming, or even just pick up an art, yoga, writing, meditation. A good hobby can really fuel your brain as well. Some hobbies you can even make money from!

Vent effectively, Start a diary, believe it or not writing down your negative thoughts can be beneficial for your happiness. Even talking to a friend or loved one can help. Have someone who will actually listen to you, even if they don’t know how to help, it can help to just let it out to a trusted listening ear. Let it out, some people think they need to be big and tough, no emotions, no crying nothing. This is actually not good, bottling up emotions can actually lead to heart disease, this is because depression, anxiety, and anger are linked to heart disease.

Accept, Just breathe, everyone falls down, everyone has bad days. That is all part of living. Pain, sadness, anger, happiness are all emotions that the everyday person has or will experience, there are of course even more. Instead of feeling bad about feeling bad, just accepting the fact that, like everyone else, you are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to have emotions. It is okay to have downfalls, you just have to be willing to work your way up again. Don’t let yourself think you’re any less of a person because you express emotions. Just breathe and know it is okay to fall, to fail, to feel the way you feel. Take action, just by reading this article I know you’re trying to better yourself. I am proud of you.

4. Change your perceptions

Do you see the glass half full or half empty, are you a pessimist or a optimist? The way you perceive the world plays a great deal on your emotions and feelings. Hence if the world around you, or even people you associate with are negative you could end up feeding off their negativity. How about instead making negative energy into positive energy.

Train Your Brain, Catch yourself thinking negatively? Stop and turn that into positive motivation. Train yourself to not think of negative words like “I can’t” or “I hate”, rephrase your wording so these words aren’t in your vocabulary. Silly as it seems, it actually can help. To not be thinking so negatively can make you feel more positive. As well as empathizing the positive around you. Try your hardest and give yourself the credit, you got out of bed in the morning, brushed your teeth, put on a brave face. Be proud of what you can accomplish, and have positive and achievable goals throughout the day. Learn and grow from the negativity. This can bring out more of a positive outlook in life.

Attitude of Gratitude, This one you may of heard before, but appreciate what life as to offer you. We all are in different spots of progression, so don’t compare one to another. This is not beneficial for anyone, it just makes one or the other feel potentially worse. Instead know that you have a purpose on this earth, it just takes time to find it. Understand that things happen that are out of our control. Be grateful for the little things, appreciate what life has to offer. A study back in 2003 had run a test to see how having gratitude in everyday life would affect people. Turns out that the results showed if one is conscious on their blessings in everyday life, they may have emotional and interpersonal benefits.

Surround Yourself with Love, Don’t stay in toxic relationships or friendships because they “might work”. Your happiness and their happiness are one of the building blocks to relationships. If someone isn’t happy, talk it out. If that doesn’t work it may be time to let go. Sometimes people aren’t meant in our lives, or sometimes it isn’t a good time. I am NOT saying to leave someone in a rough patch, or to leave if you’re in a rough patch and that is what is affecting the relationship. I am saying there needs to be a mutual level of love, respect, and understanding. Surrounding yourself with those people, and people who already have a positive outlook on life, will help to easily recognize how to do just that. We thrive for positive connections with people. Don’t hurt yourself by being around the wrong people. There are almost eight billion people in this world. No one is replaceable by any means, but stretch out your friend groups with different people.

5. BElieve in YOUrself

Stop hiding who you actually are in fear of rejection. To be able to express yourself is exhilarating, re energizing, and beneficial. Make sure you know you can be anything, do anything, accomplish anything you’ve ever wanted. Cliche` I know but bare with me.

Stay Busy, Keeping busy can help keep your mind off daily stresses you may encounter. Start up that hobby we talked about before. Keep yourself moving throughout the day. Don’t forget to smile! Go for walks and start to see things, maybe down the road you didn’t know they had such beautiful rose bushes, look for new things everyday. Kinda like ISPY if you think about it. Learn something new, we can learn something new everyday, and it is even good for our brains to do so! Keep your brain happy by reading or writing or adventuring out and learning about something that interests you!

Write your Goals, Keep up with what you want to achieve that week, month, or even year. Give yourself time to grow, your goals don’t have to be anything extreme. Start with smiling, make sure you smile at least three times a day, even if you don’t mean it, make yourself, this is even seen as “faking it til you make it”, which can be effective if done promptly. Have big goal(s) and small ones that will help you achieve your big ones. Doing this makes the process a little easier to manage. Write it down, keep them on you for referral. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do it, just keep trying because beating yourself up is not constructive to your goal.

Help Others, Be the listening ear for other people, be the shoulder they can cry on, and the person they can truly trust. Give to others and don’t expect to receive. Volunteer at a nursing home, or homeless shelter, make gifts for people, just make someone’s day today. People who are givers are often happier then the ones who receive. There was a study on forty-six volunteers who were given money to either spend on themselves or others. The ones who spent it on others were genuinely happier then the ones who did not. Although money is not the key to happiness, its the relationships and bonds with others.

‘Professor Stephen Joseph, of the University of Nottingham – an expert in the psychology of happiness who was not involved in the study – said: “Most of the research in the past has said money isn’t that important in terms of happiness. The things that are important are things to do with relationships, with other people, and things that help to promote meaning, the purpose in life. I think that’s what this study speaks to.”‘

Additional Notes

If your experiencing any suicidal thoughts, or feel the need to speak to someone about how you are feeling or what you’re experiencing, feel free to call the National Suicide Prevention hotline. It is confidential and can help anyone in need. If you or a loved one feel the need to call them please do, their here to help. 1-800-273-8255